How to Pray for Someone, the Way Paul Did

On this page: The short answer · Paul and Timothy · Four steps · Prayers by need · How long · Send their name

How do you pray for someone else?

Say the person’s name to God, tell him what they are facing, and ask for one specific good thing for them: healing, peace, work, faith. Thank God for them, then leave the answer with him. Do it again tomorrow. You need no special words, no permission and no shared faith.

That is the whole of it, and Christians have prayed for one another this way since the first churches. This page is about the praying itself: the pattern Paul used for the people of Ephesus, a one-minute prayer you can fill in, and words for the hard cases, from a friend in hospital to someone who hurt you. If you want to know what to write when you send a prayer for someone to the House of Virgin Mary, our page on sending a prayer for someone else covers names, privacy and examples.

How Paul prayed for the people of Ephesus

Paul knew the church in Ephesus well. He lived and taught in the city for about three years (Acts 20:31), and when he wrote to it, he started with the people, not their problems: “having heard of the faith in the Lord Jesus which is among you… don’t cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers” (Ephesians 1:15–16). Making mention means naming. Paul held particular people in mind, thanked God for them, and only then asked: for wisdom, for open eyes, for strength inside (1:17–18, 3:16). Our page on Paul’s prayers in Ephesians prays those two prayers line by line.

He also left someone in Ephesus to keep praying. “As I urged you when I was going into Macedonia, stay at Ephesus,” he reminds Timothy (1 Timothy 1:3), and the first practical instruction in that letter is about praying for other people:

“First of all” puts this prayer ahead of everything else in the life of the church. “All men” means everyone, including rulers the young church had not chosen. A few lines later Paul adds the manner: “lifting up holy hands without anger and doubting” (1 Timothy 2:8). The church historian Eusebius, writing in the early 300s, records that Timothy was the first bishop of Ephesus (Church History 3.4), so these lines on prayer were written for the man who would lead the church of that city.

How to pray for someone in four steps, from 1 Timothy 2:1

Paul uses four different words in that verse: petitions, prayers, intercessions and thanksgivings. The words overlap, and he may simply be piling them up to say “every kind of prayer.” Read as four steps, though, they give a simple shape for praying for one person, and the whole thing takes about a minute.

1. Petition: name the person and the need

Start with their name and what they are facing, as plainly as you would tell a friend. When Lazarus fell ill, his sisters sent Jesus one sentence: “Lord, behold, he for whom you have great affection is sick” (John 11:3). They named him, named the need and did not tell Jesus what to do. Their message is recorded in the Gospel of John, which, according to Irenaeus in the second century, John published “during his residence at Ephesus in Asia” (Against Heresies 3.1.1).

Pray it: Lord, I bring Ana to you. You know what she is facing this week.

2. Prayer: bring the whole person, not only the problem

A need is one part of a life. Picture the person as they are: their work, their family, what makes them laugh and what keeps them awake. Paul’s prayers for the Ephesians ask for things no diagnosis covers, such as hope and the knowledge of being loved (Ephesians 1:18, 3:18–19).

Pray it: Hold all of her, Father: her body, her worries, her family and her faith.

3. Intercession: ask for one specific good

Then ask for something particular. On the night before the crucifixion, Jesus told Peter, “I prayed for you, that your faith wouldn’t fail” (Luke 22:32). One named man, one specific request, prayed ahead of the hardest night of his life. Specific prayers are easier to keep praying, and it is easier to notice when they are answered. If you do not know what to ask, ask for what you would want in their place.

Pray it: Give her a calm night before the scan, and doctors who take time to listen.

4. Thanksgiving: thank God for them

Paul thanked God for people before he asked anything for them (Ephesians 1:16), and thanks changes the way you see the person you pray for. Name one thing you are glad of in them. For more of his thanks, see our prayers of thanksgiving from Paul.

Pray it: Thank you for Ana, for her kindness and for every year of our friendship. I leave her with you. Amen.

Put together, the four steps make a prayer you can say for anyone in about a minute. Fill in the blanks:

Prayers for someone who is sick, anxious, far from faith or hard to forgive

Some situations make the words harder to find. Here is what to ask for in five of them, with a short prayer for each. Put in the person’s name where you see one.

For someone who is sick or having surgery

Ask for healing plainly; the Bible does not ask anyone to be shy about it. Then widen the prayer: strength for the person, clear heads and steady hands for the doctors and nurses, rest for the family who sit and wait. Be honest with God, too, because not every prayer for healing ends the way we ask. Paul’s friend Epaphroditus “was sick nearly to death, but God had mercy on him” (Philippians 2:27), yet in another letter Paul writes, “I left Trophimus at Miletus sick” (2 Timothy 4:20), and Trophimus was a man from Ephesus (Acts 21:29). Prayer is how we stay with someone whatever the news.

For someone who is anxious, depressed or lonely

Anxiety and loneliness shrink the world to one room. Pray for peace in the words Paul used to close a letter: “Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in all ways” (2 Thessalonians 3:16). Then let the prayer move your feet: send the message, make the call, knock on the door. A lonely person may not know they were prayed for, but they will notice a visit. If you fear someone may harm themselves, prayer does not replace getting help today: contact emergency services or a crisis line where you live, and stay with them if you can.

For someone with an addiction

Pray for today, not for the whole road at once: one sober day, one honest conversation, one appointment kept. Pray for the doctors, counselors and groups who are helping. And pray for yourself, because loving someone through an addiction is exhausting. Ask for patience, for wisdom about boundaries, and for the grace to keep hoping without keeping score.

For someone far from faith

Paul prayed for people who did not share his faith with a longing he did not hide: “my heart’s desire and my prayer to God is for Israel, that they may be saved” (Romans 10:1). Pray for them, not at them. Ask God to show them his love in a way they can recognize, and keep your friendship free of conditions. The best-known example is a mother: Saint Monica prayed and wept for her son Augustine for years, and he later wrote that a bishop told her, “it is not possible that the son of these tears should perish” (Confessions 3.12). Augustine became one of the great teachers of the Church.

For someone who hurt you

This is the hardest one, and Jesus asks it plainly: “bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:28). He did it himself on the cross: “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). Writing to the Ephesians, Paul ties forgiveness to what we have already received: “be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). Start with one honest sentence. Praying for someone who hurt you is not the same as trusting them again, and it does not mean staying where you are being harmed.

For someone who has died, the words are different; our prayer for a loved one who passed away has them.

How long should you keep praying for someone?

As long as they are on your heart. Jesus told a parable “that they must always pray and not give up” (Luke 18:1), and the prophet Samuel told his people, “far be it from me that I should sin against Yahweh in ceasing to pray for you” (1 Samuel 12:23). Paul names a friend who did exactly that: Epaphras, “always striving for you in his prayers” (Colossians 4:12). A few habits make it easier to keep going:

• Write the names down. A short list on a card or in your phone keeps a promise to pray from slipping away.
• Tie it to something you already do. The first coffee, the drive to work, switching off the light. A minute is enough.
• Note the date. When you look back months later, you will see answers you would otherwise have missed.
• Tell them, if it is welcome. “I prayed for you this morning” can be the kindest sentence someone hears all week.

Ask others to pray with you

Paul did not pray alone. He asked the Ephesians to pray for him too: “Pray for me, that utterance may be given to me in opening my mouth” (Ephesians 6:19). Asking others to join a prayer for someone is one of the oldest Christian habits, and the Catechism calls intercession “asking on behalf of another” (§2635). Catholic and Orthodox Christians also ask the Virgin Mary and the saints to pray, the way you would ask a friend; the Hail Mary ends “pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.” The words are on our page of prayers to the Virgin Mary.

Last reviewed November 2026. Bible text from the World English Bible (public domain); sources linked below.

Send a prayer for them to Mary’s house

The last step of praying for someone can be a practical one. At the House of Virgin Mary, about 7 km from ancient Ephesus, visitors of every faith tie folded notes to the wishing wall, and many of the prayers people send us are for someone else. If you cannot go yourself, send a prayer to us: write their first name and one hope for them, up to 300 characters in any language, in the form on our home page. Our family places it on the wall on our regular visits to the house, free of charge. We do not promise a date, only that it is placed with care.

Before you send, ask whether they mind being named, and leave out an illness they have not shared. Our guide to sending a prayer for someone else explains what to write and what to leave out, and how to send a prayer request walks through each step.